


The Times They Are A Changin'

by stayinschoolkids



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Connecticut - Freeform, Domestic Violence, F/M, Series, Wethersfield, alternate history i guess?, aw bens a teacher how cute, dont worry ben isnt the one doing the violnce, that should say violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-10-13 02:38:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10504698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stayinschoolkids/pseuds/stayinschoolkids
Summary: Before the war and the Culper spy ring, Ben was a schoolteacher in Wethersfield, Connecticut. After two non exciting years, he meets a girl and it seems that everything begins to change. (Title from the Bob Dylan song of the same name because who doesn't love Bob Dylan??)





	1. Chapter 1

Rebekah began to fill the mug on the table of a man deep into a book. Still reading, he held up his hand to signal he didn’t want anymore. She put the mug down and served the other patrons at the tavern. She glanced back at the man reading. He had lived in the town for almost two years, but she never spoke to him. He had arrived in Wethersfield straight out of college to teach at the school. She heard other people talk highly of him. Rebekah saw that all the customers were satisfied and subtly walked behind the man with the book. She tried to catch a glimpse of what he was reading. The man took notice of her and cleared his throat.

“My apologies, sir.” She excused herself. 

His clear blue eyes peered over his book and into her eyes. He had seen her before, but their interactions were limited. This was the most they had ever spoken. He came to the tavern about once a week. She would fill his mug and continue with her work, giving him the same attention she gave any other customer. He felt sorry that he did not know her name. Her cheeks ruddied with embarrassment and she abandoned his table. He returned to his book.

\---

Rebekah noticed the man again the next day. He usually only came once a week, yet there he was at a table in the corner, reading. She went to fill his cup. He looked up at her.

“ _ Annales of Scotland _ ,” he said.

“I’m sorry?” She asked, raising her eyebrow in confusion. He showed her the cover of the book.

“That’s the title of the book. It’s a history of Scotland from Malcolm III to the House of Stewart.”

“Oh. I know a bit about Scotland. Well, my mother knows more, seeing as she and my father left the country to come here before I was born. I know very little about it, seeing as I was born here.” She worried she was talking too much. She searched his face but saw no negative reaction.

Ben now noticed the slight Scottish accent that flavored her voice. He had detected something the first time he heard her talk, but he had never spoken to her enough before to identify it.

“You could borrow the book when I’m finished, if you’d like.”

“Oh, yes, I would like that.” She had not the heart to tell them that she had little use for the book.

“Rebekah!” A voice called from the next room, interrupting the pair’s first real conversation.

“Excuse me, I have to go.” She told him and went to the source of the voice. 

\---

It was evening when the two spoke again. He was the only person left in the tavern, save for Rebekah. She noticed him still reading as she wiped down the tables. She did not want to seem rude, but she also did not want to stay any later than she had to. She cleaned the table next to him, hoping that he would get the message and leave, but he did not seem to notice.

“I’ll make sure the same table is here for you tomorrow,” she told him. He looked up and closed his book.

“I did not realize the time. I’m sorry to have overstayed.” He gathered his things and began to leave. Rebekah followed after him, ready to return home. She snuffed out the candles and locked the door.

“Surely you are not walking home alone at this time of night?” He asked, his voice and face full of concern.

“No, I can manage it, but my brother insists on meeting me and walking me home. Though, it seems he is late tonight.”

“I can escort you to your home, if you’d like.”

“Thank you, but I will just wait for my brother. I’m sure he is on his way.”

“In that case, might I wait here until he arrives? I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”

She was slightly taken aback. Was this just because he felt a sense of duty to her safety, or did he care about her? 

“That’s very kind of you. Some company can never hurt.” She paused for a moment, embarrassed by her next statement. “I’m afraid I do not know your name.”

But he wasn’t upset. Instead he just smiled and said, “Benjamin Tallmadge. Regretfully, I do not know your name either.”

“Rebekah Mackenzie.”

“I am glad we have finally met after two years of being in the same small town.”

“It is rather strange that we never really met before.”

A man appeared in the distance.

“That must be my brother.”

A man who looked almost identical to Rebekah save for his height and beard ran to them. He seemed distracted and worried. He spoke with urgency.

“We need to go. Now.” He noticed Ben. “Who are you?”

“Benjamin Tallmadge. I was just waiting with your sister-”

“There’s no time for any explanations. Rebekah we have to go.”

She didn’t understand but she trusted her brother. Rebekah started walking, but her brother grabbed her hand and took off at a run.

“Silas, what’s-” She realized there could only be one reason her brother was so worried. “Why did you leave the house then? Where are the others? Are they safe?”

“Yes of course they’re safe. They’re all in the woods with John. If I had not come to get you, something could have happened to you.”

“You know I can handle myself.”

“Yes, and you can also handle our brothers and sisters better than I can. I cannot deal with Uncle without you.”

They ran until they reached the house. Even from outside, they could hear the yelling and crashing of the storm inside their house. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene contains domestic violence. It is not super detailed, but I have purposefully included only that scene in this chapter so you can skip it if you prefer without missing too much.

Rebekah followed her brother into the house and immediately ran to the aid of her mother. The table and a few chairs were overturned. Rebekah’s mother cowered in the corner as her brother in law raised a chair to throw. Rebekah threw herself between her uncle and mother as Silas snuck up behind Gideon and grabbed the chair from his hands. Gideon turned around to hit his nephew, but Silas kept the chair between them, using the legs to keep Gideon away. While Gideon was distracted, Rebekah helped her mother up and they made their escape to the direst with the others. They reached the woods which was only a short distance away.   
“I'm going to go help Silas,” she told her mother. “Everyone should be in the usual spot by the bush and the pine tree.”  
Her mother nodded and went to go comfort her children. Luckily, Gideon went into a rage after dinner when all the knives and forks were put away, so injuries were minimal.   
Rebekah ran back to the house. Inside, Gideon was on top of Silas, landing blow after blow upon his face. The chair that Silas had used to fend off Gideon was on the ground and missing a leg. Rebekah rushed to her brother’s aid and tried to pull Gideon away, but he was too strong. Rebekah looked around the room frantically until her eyes landed on the chair leg that had broken off. She grabbed it and, with barely any thought, whacked the back of Gideon’s head with the chair leg and he fell to the ground.   
Rebekah wished she could have been shocked or disturbed by her uncle’s actions, but this was a weekly occurrence. Sometimes, Gideon would get drunk and pass out outside the tavern. Sometimes he would even make it home and then pass out. Other times, the night would go similarly to how this night could gone. Sometimes he wouldn’t even need any whiskey to get him this way, just an unintended insult from one of his late brother’s children, usually Rebekah or Silas. Rebekah helped her brother up and they carried Gideon out of the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Spoiler Alert but I'm including it here as a trigger warning*  
> **************************************************************************************************************************************
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> This chapter also contains a scene at the end with brief domestic violence.

For the next week, Rebekah saw Ben at the tavern everyday, but their conversations did not escalate past observations about the weather. When he was finished teaching for the day, Ben would come to the tavern and sit in the same spot in the corner. Rebekah would bring him a drink, which he never had refilled. They would both politely ask how the other was doing, make a remark about this day’s weather and how it was different from the previous day. They were lucky it was March and the weather was so temperamental, otherwise their conversations would be somehow even more dull.   
Today began no differently. Rebekah brought Ben something to drink and they asked each other how they were doing (to which they both replied simply with no elaboration) and Rebekah noted that today it was rather cloudy and windy whereas yesterday had felt more like late spring, to which Ben agreed. Rebekah stayed for a moment, trying to gather the courage to say what she had been wanting to say since she met Ben.  
“I want you to teach my brothers how to read,” she blurted.  
“Oh,” Ben was slightly taken aback by the change in conversation and Rebekah's shift from casual politeness to slight forwardness. “Of course I will teach them. It's my job.”  
“I mean in the evenings. They don't know how to read at all. I would make them go to school but they're too far behind everyone else and they're too busy during the day.”  
“I think I'll be able to find time in my busy schedule of sitting in this corner reading to teach your brothers.”  
Rebekah beamed. She knew her father had always wanted her brothers to be educated, and now his dreams were coming true.  
The tavern owner called for Rebekah.  
“I have to go.”  
“I will see you and your brothers tomorrow then.”  
Rebekah’s lips curled into a slight smile as she left.  
\---  
As Rebekah and Silas walked home, Silas noticed that Rebekah seemed nervous about something.  
“Is something wrong?” He asked.  
“It’s nothing,” she claimed, but she looked away from Silas when she spoke. “I have to talk to Uncle about something.”  
Silas raised an eyebrow. He had his suspicions of what she needed to speak with him about. “If it concerns the family, you can speak to me. I don’t care who he thinks he is. I’m the one who actually does anything.”  
Rebekah stopped herself from pointing out that their mother did all of the cooking and much of the cleaning and Rebekah was the family’s main source of income. Her brother was really only good for his strength.   
“If Uncle thinks he isn’t making the decisions, he’ll be angry. I’ll talk to you about it and you can tell me what you think, but he is the one who actually makes the decision.”  
Silas swallowed no more than a spoonful of his pride. “Fine. Uncle and I may actually agree on this. I do not give Benjamin Tallmadge permission to call on you.”  
Rebekah stopped. “What?”  
“You barely know him. And he isn’t from here. He has no reason to stay. He’ll just hurt you and leave you.”  
Rebekah became defensive.   
“Benjamin Tallmadge has nothing to do with this. Well, he does, but not in the way you think. He has not asked to call on me. I hardly know him.”  
“Then what do you need to speak to Uncle about?”  
“Mr. Tallmadge has offered to teach Tomas and John so that they can start going to school.”  
“They have no time for that.”  
“Yes they do. He’s coming in the evenings when there is no work for them to do outside. I can do some of their chores.”  
“It’s a horrible idea.”  
“Well, what you think doesn’t matter. As much as we hate him, Uncle has to decide.”  
Silas scoffed. His sister was young and naive. He could tell she was in love with Benjamin Tallmadge and wanted an excuse to see him. She would learn one day. Benjamin could do better than a poor, fatherless farm girl.  
\---  
When Rebekah saw that her Uncle was nearly finished with his dinner, she decided it was time to speak with him.   
“Uncle,” she began calmly and slowly. Her Uncle looked up. “You know Mr. Tallmadge, yes?”  
He seemed mildly annoyed by the simple question. “The school teacher? I know who he is. He’s at the tavern almost as much as I am.” He said with a laugh shared with no one.  
But he doesn’t drink nearly as much as you. Of course, the entire country of Scotland likely does not drink as much as you. Rebekah thought to herself silently.  
“He has offered to teach Tomas and John. Once they know as much as the other boys, they can start going to school.”  
The whole table looked at Uncle to see his reaction.  
“Why?”  
“Why?” Rebekah was puzzled. Surely her uncle understood the importance of education? She expected her uncle to be opposed to the idea, but to not see the reason for her brothers learning? “Because education is the most valuable thing they can get! If they can read and write and do basic arithmetic, they can get apprenticeships. They can choose what they want to do, and not simply be forced into being farmers because they have no choice.” Rebekah could feel her anger rising with her voice.   
Her uncle simply rolled his eyes. “It’s a waste of time.”   
“At least it’s better than drinking all our money away.” Rebekah looked at her uncle with defiance.  
“Rebekah!” Her mother scolded.  
Her uncle slammed his fist on the table. Rebekah’s younger siblings looked at him in fear. Rebekah flinched slightly, but tried unsuccessfully to hide it. Rebekah knew it was the end of the discussion, and she had lost, but something in Silas changed. Rebekah swore she saw a glint of fire in his eyes.  
“I think it’s a good idea,” he said completely calmly, as though their uncle had never been a part of the conversation. Rebekah stared at her brother. Hadn’t he just disagreed with her on their way home? Why was he suddenly changing his opinion? Had Rebekah simply argued her point well enough to convince Silas? “If they have the time, why not? Once they can read and write, they can be apprentices and eventually make enough money to support all of us.”  
Everyone at the table looked from Silas to Uncle, waiting for his response.  
“I already said no. Do you think I am not a man of my word?”  
Everyone silently answered yes.  
“You’re just being stubborn!” Rebekah conjectured hotly.  
“Rebekah, Gideon has made his decision,” her mother said, trying to settle the matter.  
Rebekah rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.  
“She’ll never find a husband,” Gideon remarked.  
Rebekah glared. “I’m sorry that I am the greatest disappointment in your miserable life. Nevermind that I am the only one bringing in any money and keeping this whole family alive since you can’t help yourself from drinking and gambling all of our money away.”  
Gideon rose from his seat and crossed to the other side of the table. Silas stood to stop him, but Gideon was quicker. He pulled Rebekah’s chair away from the table so that she was facing him and slapped her hard on the cheek. Her hand shot up to caress the sore skin. Her eyes swelled with hot tears.   
“You want to learn something?” Gideon growled. “Here’s a lesson. Don’t talk back to me.”  
He stormed out of the house, flipping over his empty chair on his way out. He muttered something under his breath about needing a drink. The oldest of Rebekah’s little sisters, Mary, tried to comfort her older sister as Rebekah had always done for them.   
“Don’t worry,” Silas assured her. “We’ll go behind his back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading! I hope you enjoy! Feel free to comment if you have any input or just want to say something nice :)


	4. Chapter 4

Rebekah wiped her hands on her apron after emptying a bucket of dirty water outside the tavern. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Tomas and John running to the schoolhouse, with Silas a little ways behind them. She smiled to herself. Silas noticed her and walked over.  
“Uncle is inside?” He inquired, making sure that everything was still fitting to the plan.  
“Yes, and I’ve just refilled his cup for the third time,” Rebekah informed him. “He’ll be occupied until they’re done.”  
“Good.”  
But Silas still seemed nervous.  
“Silas, it’s going to work today, just like it has for the past week. John and Tomas will go to school and Uncle will be in the tavern getting drunk.”  
“Keep an eye on him.”  
“I will.”  
“Because if he finds out-”  
“Yes, Silas I know. This was my idea, remember?”  
“If he knows we’ve gone against him, he’ll hurt you again.”  
Though Silas’s concern for Rebekah had good intentions, it felt mildly suffocating. Rebekah could take care of herself. She didn’t need anyone else.  
“It was just a slap. He’s done worse. Uncle isn’t really angry unless one of us is left with a scar.”  
“Yes, but that was when he was sober. When he’s drunk-”  
“Silas, you need to stop worrying.”  
“Fine. I’ll see you tonight.”  
Silas walked away. Rebekah returned to the tavern with the empty bucket. Three hours later, Benjamin Tallmadge came through the door of the tavern. He smiled at Rebekah before taking his usual seat. Rebekah acknowledged his presence and went to him.   
“How were they?” Rebekah asked in a whisper, placing a cup on his table and filling it so nothing looked suspicious.   
“Wonderful,” Ben replied, his blue eyes sparkling, “They really are quite intelligent, especially for never having gone to school.”  
“I’m glad to hear that.”   
Ben fidgeted in his seat. “I was wondering if you might want-”  
“Hey! You with the pitcher!” A rowdy patron called, drunkenly waving his mug in the air.  
Rebekah rolled her eyes. She excused herself and Ben gave her a sympathetic look as she dealt with the man. He cursed himself for never having the courage to speak to her. He had a chance and lost it. What would she ever even want with someone like him? She was beautiful, strong, and confident; she didn’t need anyone else. And then there was her older brother. He seemed to hate Ben, but Ben could not understand why. He sighed and stared into his cup. There was no point in sitting idly in the tavern anymore. The only reason he had ever come into the tavern in the first place was in hopes that Rebekah might notice him. He watched her laugh as she served two young men at the table next to him. They were the same age as Ben, and could be considered better looking, Ben supposed. He got up to leave.  
“Are you leaving?” Rebekah asked. She was no longer laughing and instead looked the slightest bit disappointed.  
“Yes, I have things to do,” he lied. He was really just going to go home and do the same thing he did at the tavern, drink and read, though he thought tonight he may want to drink a little more heavily than normal.   
“Can you come back sometime this evening? I’m working late and I don’t want to be alone with all of these drunkards.”  
Ben’s heart smiled, but he tried not to look overjoyed and just nodded. “I think I can manage that.”  
Rebekah smiled. “I’ll make sure your table is free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to all my readers! I have about 1/3 of the story written with some scenes in the middle that still need to be written or re-worked. The story has 3 main parts so my plan is to publish each part as a separate work all in the same collection so it's not too long.


	5. Chapter 5

When Ben returned, a group of men were drunkenly singing. Among them was Rebekah’s uncle, who banged and off beat rhythm on the table. He raised his empty mug and shook it in front of his niece’s face, but she ignored him. She heard the door open and looked up, smiling when she saw Ben had returned. Ben took his usual seat and Rebekah joined him to escape the inebriated men for a moment.  
“This is their fifth song,” she said, exasperated. “I keep hoping the drink will make them pass out, but it only makes them louder and more off key.”  
“At least your uncle isn’t-”  
“Raving mad? Hitting people? Yeah, I made sure he’s only had beer tonight. I don’t know what it is, but beer makes him happy drunk while whiskey makes him angry.”  
“Rebekah!” Gideon clamored.  
Rebekah rolled her eyes and sighed. “I have to go deal with him. But please, stay. You can stay until after I close. Then we can talk without being interrupted by drunks.”  
“I really shouldn’t-”  
“Please? I’ll fix you an all nations.”  
“A what?”  
“You’ll have to stay to see.”  
“Fine. I’ll stay.”  
The last thing Ben wanted to do was waste several hours while surrounded by drunks, but if he could talk to Rebekah at the end, it might be worth it, so he stayed.   
Rebekah spent the next hour filling drinks, cleaning up vomit, and fending off men who forgot themselves when they drank. She was wiping up a table when she heard the unmistakable sound of her uncle shouting. She hurried to the source of the noise to stop him before he hurt anyone or did anything that would cost more money than he had already wasted.  
“Who the fuck d’ye think ye are?”  
Gideon was standing in front of Ben. A chair was lying haphazardly on the ground. Most of the men in the tavern were gathered in a circle around Gideon and Ben, hoping a fight would break out and they would get some entertainment. Ben was frozen, either in fear, shock, or simply not knowing what to do in the situation.   
“I… um…”  
“Ye… ye come tae this town… thinking ye’re special because ye went tae Yale. Well ye know what? We… we don’t need ye. People tell me… education is important… education will change yer life for the better… but look at ye! Ye… ye know how tae read… and and write… ye went tae Yale! And now look at ye! A fuckin school teacher! Where’s that going tae get ye?”  
Rebekah pushed past the men who were in her way.  
“Uncle!”  
The intoxicated man looked at her.  
“Ye gonna stand up for him? There’s somethin goin on between ye two… I can tell. Ye said ye just wanted yer brothers educated, but I know… I can see it.”  
Rebekah’s cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.  
“Who gave you whiskey?”  
“How do ye know I had whiskey?”  
“Because you’re angry. Whiskey makes you angry. Who gave it to you? Was it Mr. Elsley?”  
“So what if it was?”  
Rebekah was only getting angrier. She looked around the room to see if Mr. Elsley was present so she could chew him out for letting her uncle get like this.  
“Don’t get angry with him,” her uncle told her. “You should get used tae listening tae him.”  
Rebekah thought the comment odd, but did not dwell on it.  
“Get out, Uncle. Go home.”  
“Fuck you.”  
Rebekah landed a slap on his cheek.  
“Don’t you come here, to where I work, where I actually make money to support my family, and yell at me or my friend. Now get out before I throw you out.”  
Gideon took a moment to consider his options. He was sober enough to realize that he shouldn’t beat Rebekah in front of all these people. Everyone knew Gideon was a drunk, no one knew he beat his own family. They always hid their bruises. Only Rebekah had ever had a bruise she could not hide, as it was on her face, but she had the sense to lie about it and say she ran into something. What good would it do her if the town knew about what her Uncle did while drunk?   
Gideon chose to leave the tavern, and the circle quickly dissipated.   
“I’m sorry about all that,” Rebekah apologized to Ben.  
“It’s not your fault.”  
“I was the one who said all the stuff to him about education. He wouldn’t have targeted you if it weren’t for me.”  
“You really don’t need to apologize for your uncle.”  
“All I ever do is apologize for that man.” She picked up the chair and put it back. “This is why he can never know that you teach my brothers.”  
Ben nodded. “I see that now. Why is he so against education?”  
“I’ll never know. My guess is that he doesn’t want anyone in my family to be better than him. He never learned to read, so why should his nieces or nephews? That, and he didn’t come up with the idea. I did. If he lets me get my way once, he’ll lose all the power he thinks he has over my family.”  
“I don’t mean to offend you, but your uncle sounds like a horrible person.”  
“He is, but he was my father’s brother, and my mother insists that he has a right to be part of our family.”  
A short, round, old man appeared behind Rebekah.  
“I’m tired,” he announced and handed Rebekah some keys. “Get everyone out of here within the next ten minutes and lock up. And make sure you take inventory of the alcohol. Last week your uncle thought I wouldn’t notice him taking a bottle of wine. Everything he takes comes out of your pay.”  
“Yes, Mr. Elsley.”  
“And someone smashed a bottle on the ground. Clean it up.”  
“Yes, Mr. Elsley.”  
The man stood momentarily, trying to think of something else to nag Rebekah about. He eyed Benjamin for a minute, then left.  
“I’m going to go get everybody out and then I’ll introduce you to an all nations.”  
Rebekah yelled at the rowdy drinkers until they left. Ben sat wondering if he really wanted to know what an all nations was. The curiosity overcame him, as did his desire to talk to Rebekah, so he stayed. He watched as Rebekah grabbed several nearly empty bottles of varying drinks, beer, cider, ale, whiskey, even some wine, and poured them all together into one larger bottle and brought the bottle and two small glasses to the table where Ben was sitting. She sat in the chair opposite him and filled the two glasses.  
“This is an all nations,” she explained. “Whenever a bottle is close to empty, I hide it away. Mr. Elsey just assumes I served it all and threw away the bottle, but I keep them and save them until I have enough to fill a bottle. Try it.”  
Ben eyed the glass warily, but Rebekah insisted. He took the glass and downed its contents. The alcohol burned and he immediately began coughing. Rebekah laughed. It was a jovial laugh, not a menacing one. She laughed as if Ben had shared a joke with her.  
“Disgusting, isn’t it?”  
He nodded. “Why do you make this?”  
She drank her share before speaking. “Because I have nothing better to do. The taste is horrible, but it’ll get you drunk. If we keep talking about the drink, it’ll only get worse. Tell me about yourself.”  
“You want to know about me?”  
“Of course. You’ve lived here for what? Two years? Two years in Wethersfield and the only thing I know about you is that you’re educated.”  
“There really isn't much to know about me.”  
“Humility will get you nowhere in this world. At least tell me where you’re from.”  
“It’s a small town on Long Island called Setauket. It’s like any other town, I suppose.”  
Ben continued to tell her about his little town and his father the preacher and his friends he had grown up with. He told her about Yale and his time there. Ben thought his life to be painfully boring, but Rebekah listened, hanging on to every word he said.   
“What about you?”  
“Me?” Rebekah asked.  
“You know about me now. Tell me about you.”  
“I think you know all there is to know about me. Anyone in town can tell you I have too many siblings and my uncle is always drunk.”  
“But there’s more to you than your siblings and your uncle.”  
Rebekah hated talking about herself. She worried if she did, Ben would realize how utterly unremarkable she was.   
“At least tell me your siblings’ names. I only know John, Tomas, and Silas.”  
“I have a total of eight siblings. My other brother is Enoch. He’s only four. He was born after my father died. My sisters are Anne who is six, Mercy, who is eight. Abigail is ten, and Mary is fourteen.”  
Rebekah did not want to talk about herself anymore, but Ben seemed expectant.  
“I bet you can’t out drink me,” she claimed as she filled the glasses again.  
“I don’t really drink very much…”  
“Then I guess I’m right.”  
Ben was struck with a dash of competitiveness.  
“I may not drink very much, but I can still outdrink you.”  
“Oh really? You want to prove that?”  
“It shouldn’t be too hard.”  
Rebekah scoffed.   
“Go ahead. Even if you can handle the alcohol, the taste will get to you and you’ll spit it out after the third sip.”  
In response, Ben poured himself a glass and downed it. His face puckered as he tried in vain to hide the disgust. Rebekah rolled her eyes and laughed. They continued to drink, eventually giving up on the glasses and just passing the bottle back and forth. The nearly empty tavern was filled with their drunken laughter. Unbeknownst to Ben, Rebekah had stopped drinking after they switched from glasses to the bottle. She would pretend to take a sip, but the drink would never go past her lips, a strategy she had always used. She wasn’t cheating, she told herself. She was just playing a different game.   
Ben’s drunkenness was obvious. He began to slur his words and to ramble. As he continued to drink, Rebekah braised herself for a sudden change to violence. She waited for him to become aggressive, to shout, to slam his fist on the table, to break the bottle, to hit. He finished the bottle and looked at Rebekah.  
“What?” She asked with a laugh.   
Ben smiled. “Y… you’re beautiful.”  
“I’m what?”  
“You… you are like… a flower.”  
“And you’re drunk.”  
Ben spent the rest of the night rambling about how much he liked Rebekah (she was “prettier than a cow” and remind him of “Christmas”) and about his childhood friends. Rebekah smiled to herself. She had been worried, but now her fears were quelled. She had tested Ben, and he passed.


	6. Chapter Six

Ben awoke with a pounding headache. The smell of bacon cooking roused him to sit up, but when he tried to open his eyes, the sunlight strained his head. A soft song wove through the air. Ben blinked and forced his eyes to open. He did not recognize the room he was in, but it was warm and smelled nice. He was sitting on top of a makeshift bed near the fireplace. Rebekah had her back turned to him and was stirring something that smelled like porridge.   
“Where am I?” He asked.  
Rebekah stopped singing and turned to him.   
“You passed out last night so I brought you here to sleep.”  
“You carried me from the tavern?”  
“No, Silas helped.”  
Ben’s heart sank. He was certain that Silas hated him before, and now he had seen him drunk. Ben doubted that Silas would approve of him after seeing him in an intoxicated state with Rebekah.  
“How is your head?” Rebekah asked. She saw a quick wave of pain cross Ben’s face. Not knowing Ben’s worry about Silas’ opinion of him, she attributed it entirely to a headache from the drink.  
“I feel like someone dropped a ton of bricks on it.”  
“Drinking water will help. I'll have breakfast ready for you in a minute.”  
Ben rubbed his head as Rebekah scraped the porridge out of the pot and into a bowl and retrieved the bacon that was sizzling on a pan over the fire.  
“Here you go. The grease from the bacon usually helps.”  
“Thank you.” Ben looked around the room, surprised by the emptiness in a house with so many people. “Where is the rest of your family?”  
“They’re all doing chores.”  
“And your uncle?”  
“You don’t need to worry about him. That lazy sack of shit is still asleep. I imagine the earliest he’ll wake up is noon.”  
Ben looked around the barren room. The only furnishings were a table and several chairs. On one side of the room were two doors. One was opened and revealed a small room with two beds and a curtain nailed to the ceiling to offer some semblance of privacy. The other door was closed, but he imagined that was another bedroom.   
“Last night… did I do something?”  
“No. Why?”  
“I don't really have any memory of anything that I said or did after we started drinking.”  
“You may have said something. You should never be a spy; you talk too much when drunk.”  
Ben wanted to ask her what she meant, but Silas entered the house carrying firewood. He set the logs down by the fireplace and noticed Ben.  
“You’re actually awake,” he observed, then turned to his sister. “Rebekah, Mary needs your help with the laundry.”  
Rebekah nodded and left the house.  
“I’m sorry if I caused you any problems last night,” Ben apologized.  
“You’re not special, you know.” Silas told him rudely, barely even acknowledging Ben.  
“I’m sorry?”  
“Just because my sister let you stay late in the tavern and drink, you’re not special to her.”  
“I never said…”  
“She always lets men stay late and get drunk. Usually they’re able to drink more before they pass out, but you’re a lightweight.”  
“I’m sorry if there was any misunderstanding.,” Ben felt trapped. Despite all his education, there were still so many times he did not have an answer I never thought your sister thought I was special or anything of the sort.”  
“And does that disappoint you?”  
“Should it?”  
“You don’t feel anything for her? You aren’t upset to hear that she thinks of you the same way she thinks of any other man?”  
“N-no.”  
“You hesitated.”  
“I did not.”  
“So you mean to tell me that you just offered to teach my brothers out of the goodness of your heart? And you go to the tavern everyday just to read?”  
“I… y-yes.”  
“So why did you tell her she was beautiful?”  
“I- what?”  
“Last night, after we carried you here and made you a bed, you woke up for just a minute, looked at Rebekah, and told her you thought she was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen.”  
“I don't even remember…”  
“She doesn't need you to tell her she's beautiful. So what now? Are you going to court her? Marry her?”  
“I-”  
“Or are you just going to say nice things to her until you can sneak into her bed and leave her humiliated and disgraced?”  
“I assure you-”  
Rebekah came inside with a basket full of laundry. Ben looked from her to her brother and back to her.   
“I-I should be going.”  
“Is your head feeling better?”  
“I’m fine. I-I just need to go. Thank you for everything.”  
He left the house as quickly as humanly possible. Rebekah was instantly suspicious of her brother and shot him an accusatory look.  
“What did you do, Silas?”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Why did he leave in such a rush?”  
“I assume he has things to do. He offered no explanation.”  
Rebekah crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Anytime a man so much as looked at her Silas would interrogate him. She could hardly imagine what Silas had done to the drunk man she brought home who called her beautiful. She rolled her eyes at her brother and rushed out of the house to try to stop Ben.  
“Wait!” She called after him. He briefly stopped and looked back at her, but he continued walking quicker than before. Rebekah ran after him. Ben stopped and turned to face her.   
“I'm sorry for what I said last night. I was not in my best state of mind and I did not mean any of it.”  
“Oh.”  
He realized what he had just done and tried to explain and apologize, but Rebekah was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to everyone reading!


	7. Chapter 7

For the next week, Rebekah and Ben’s interactions with each other were limited to unexciting comments about the weather. Ben only continued to go to the tavern everyday as part of the plan with teaching John and Tomas. Rebekah knew that when Ben arrived, she could stop wasting her family’s money to get her uncle drunk and distracted. Ben tried to push the conversation past just the weather and get it back on the journey it once traveled, but Rebekah treated him with indifference. He had not actually apologized for accidentally implying that he disliked Rebekah and found her ugly. He worried that trying to apologize would only bring the blunder to the forefront of her mind. Ben also imagined that Rebekah was not the kind to forgive easily, but could he blame her? He did not know much about her as she kept herself guarded, but he had once noticed a bruise on her wrist that she quickly covered when she noticed him looking and he had seen bruises on Tomas more than once. Ben knew that their uncle was a drunkard, but was he also beating his own family? Ben hoped not, for their sake, but what other explanation was there?   
\---  
It had all the ingredients of a good day. Rebekah returned home in time for dinner with her family. Gideon was surprisingly sober, as Rebekah had decided to take a risk and find a distraction outside of alcohol to keep her uncle from knowing that his nephews were being taught behind his back. Of all the things Rebekah imagined she would have to hide from her uncle, education was not one of them.   
Remarkably, Rebekah learned at dinner that her uncle had spent the whole day at home doing his share of the work. They were getting ready to plant seeds soon and he had actually been quite helpful according to Silas. Were things beginning to change?   
Alas, they were not.   
The Mackenzies had become even more scrupulous than usual. The youngest children were growing and would need new clothes by winter. And there was the expectation that soon either Silas or Rebekah would be getting married. Every bit of money was tucked away. Some of it was to go to buying seeds and the rest to whatever other needs arose. As such, meals had become increasingly simple and bordering on tasteless. Tonight's meal of cabbage stew was no different. Gideon, who for the first time in awhile was home and sober for a meal, took a sip of soup and immediately spit it out.

“What is this shit?”   
Mrs. Mackenzie shrank into herself.  
“It-it’s cabbage stew.” She explained in a voice barely louder than a whisper.  
“I work all day and you reward me with this? I'd rather eat dog shit.”  
Then eat dog shit Rebekah said to herself silently, not daring to anger her uncle anymore.   
Gideon threw the bowl, spilling stew over everyone.   
“If you keep making meals like this, I'll just eat all of my meals in the tavern.”  
“B-but we… we just don't have the money…”  
“Because no one in this family is contributing anything.”  
“Rebekah has a job.”  
“And what good does that do? All she does is refuse to serve me. No wonder she barely gets paid. Besides, everyone knows the real reason Mr. Elsley hired her.” He said with a sneer. 

Rebekah, as well as everyone else with any sense, knew, but tried to ignore it. Rebekah was of marrying age and despite her thin structure she was quite pretty. But no one wanted to marry a girl with no money, except of course, for Mr. Elsley who was so horrible that no woman would even look at him. He had hired Rebekah even when he was still married and it was rumored that he murdered his own wife because she hated Rebekah and tried to fire her. The Elsleys had been a perfect match; both were so awful that no one else would have given either of them a chance. They found each other and were united by everyone’s disdain and distrust of them. They had 20 years of dissatisfactory marriage before someone discovered Mrs. Elsley’s body by the river. 

“It's not as though there are any other jobs for her. We're doing the best we can.”  
“If she were a whore we would all be able to eat.”  
Rebekah did not let her uncle’s comment bother her, but she noticed Mary staring at the floor.


	8. Chapter 8

Ben stood outside the Mackenzie home. He had just been here a week ago, and now he was here to apologize for all that had happened. He raised his hand to knock on the door, still unsure as to what to say. He wanted to apologize for how he reacted when he learned what he had said in his drunken state, but if he apologized, that would imply that he thought Rebekah was beautiful and possibly even harbored feelings for her. How would she react? It was true that Ben did feel something for her, but did she feel the same?   
Just as he gained enough courage to knock, a storm erupted from inside the house. Ben could make out the sound of Gideon shouting and someone crying. This crying lead to more yelling from Gideon. The smack of a man’s hand against someone’s cheek rang out and was followed by a loud outburst from Silas.

Ben was immobilized with fear and confusion, unsure as to whether he should run before someone discovered him outside or if he should burst into the room and try to stop Gideon. Before he could decide, the door opened and Gideon exited the house in a fury. He stopped when he saw Ben.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!”  
The door was wide open, giving everyone inside a clear view of the encounter. Ben looked past Gideon and saw Rebekah holding her youngest sister Mercy in her lap. She rocked the girl back and forth and sang to her softly. Mercy’s lip was bleeding and she was whimpering. 

Rebekah looked up to see what was going on. She briefly made eye contact with Ben, then turned her eyes back to her sister. She hated that sympathetic look he gave her. Everyone in town looked at her family in either pity or disgust. She preferred disgust. She knew that those who looked at her in pity commended themselves for being such wonderful, moral people. It made her stomach turn and her eyes narrow.

Outside, Gideon repeated his question. John spoke up.

“Leave him alone, Uncle,” his voice was quiet, but he held his ground.  
“What is the fuckin’ school teacher doing here? Come to give me a lesson?”  
“I…” Ben tried  
“He’s here to apologize to Rebekah,” John guessed. “Aren’t you?”  
“Y-yes. Yes.”   
Gideon scoffed. “Apologize for what?”  
“He threw up at the tavern and Rebekah had to clean it up.”  
Gideon let out a short, mocking laugh.  
“Alright. Apologize.”  
“Oh. Yes. Could I speak to Rebekah alone?”  
“Why? We already know what you're apologizing for.”  
“Yes, but I feel my apology would be more sincere if I could speak only to her.”  
“Ohhh I see,” Gideon winked at Ben. “So you didn't vomit? Don't worry. All the other men at the tavern act the same way. So, what did you grab? Tit or arse?”  
“Excuse me?” Ben was appalled at the accusation and Gideon’s lack of concern.  
“We both know how men can be when they're drunk.”  
“I would never do such a thing!”  
“You wouldn’t be the only one.”  
“Shouldn't you be angry at these men?”  
“Angry? Only because they don't pay for the privilege. Perhaps I should start charging them.”  
“She's your niece!”  
Gideon shrugged. “I'll let you talk to her. I'm off to the tavern.”

Gideon pushed past him and left Ben even more confused than before. He looked at Rebekah whose face had turned redder than her hair. Everyone else who was old enough to understand their uncle looked away in embarrassment.

“You should leave,” Silas said after an excruciatingly long moment of awkward silence.  
“I just wanted to apologize.”  
“Then apologize. We all know what you really did.”  
“I'd rather speak to her in private.”  
“If you can’t apologize in front of anyone else, you aren’t really sorry. Good bye.” 

He shut the door before Ben could say anything else.


	9. Chapter 9

Three days passed and Ben had still not mustered up the courage to apologize to Rebekah or even speak to her. It made teaching her brothers an awkward part of his day. Ben was certain that they knew Rebekah’s thoughts and would know if she was still mad at him, but they never gave Ben any information. They were there to learn and that was it.  
Ben tried to distract himself by reading and finally finished Annals of Scotland. He remembered how he had been reading it when he first met Rebekah. Before that day, he had never really looked twice at any woman. He desperately wanted to speak to her again. He tried to formulate his thoughts before speaking to her, but everytime he tried to apologize, the words left him. He realized he was a better writer than speaker.  
Then the idea hit him. He could just write to her. He wrote a letter to her, apologizing for everything. Then he put the letter inside the book. He would have her brothers take the book to her and she would find the letter.  
“That’s all for today,” Ben announced to them. “But before you leave, I was, erm, wondering if you might give this to your sister.”  
He handed John a leather book, worn slightly from use and stained from a spill at the tavern. John inspected the side to read the title.  
“Anals of Scotland?” He asked.  
“Annals,” Ben corrected him, suppressing his infantile urge to let out a giggle.  
“What is she supposed to do with it?”  
“Read it, of course.”  
“She can’t read.”  
Idiot. Ben cursed himself. He should have known that she was illiterate.  
“Oh.”  
“Don’t worry! We can read it to her!” Tomas suggested. “It will give us good practice!”  
“Actually, I think I should just keep it if she cannot read it herself.”  
“Why?” John questioned, his voice laced with suspicion.  
“It’s… personal. You would not understand.”  
The two brothers shared a knowing look and then looked back at Ben.  
“You think she will forgive you?”  
“Ye- no. I was just trying to do something kind.”  
“It’s a bit too late for that.”  
Ben sighed. “How mad is she?”  
John debated whether he should answer. “You could be forgiven. Maybe.”  
“You did pass the test,” Tomas admitted.  
Ben raised his eyebrows. Tomas covered his mouth as though that would somehow make the words go back in.  
“Test?” Ben asked.  
Tomas glanced at his brother.  
“The drunk test.”  
Ben stared in confusion. Tomas continued, much to the chagrin of his brother.  
“When our sister invited you to stay at the tavern and drink with her… you were not the first. If she holds any affection for a man she lets him stay late and she makes him an all nations to get him drunk.”  
Ben’s ears perked at the sound of “affection”. He did not need Tomas to explain anymore. He understood. Their uncle was… less than amicable especially when he was drunk. And from what he heard from Gideon and had seen himself at least once at the tavern, other men could be very friendly when drunk. Rebekah wanted someone who would not change too much, someone who would not touch her in anyway when drunk.  
“And I passed?”  
Tomas nodded. “That is, until you called her ugly the next day.”  
Ben sighed. “I’m going to talk to her. Could you give me the book back, please?”  
John began to hand it to Ben, but changed his mind.  
“Can I try to read it?”  
Ben thought for a moment. He had tucked the letter inside the book, but maybe they would not find it.  
“I suppose.”  
Ben opened the book to the first page, past the title page and table of contents so that the letter stayed between the cover and first page. John began to read.  
“Robert Bruce had many and formidable-”  
“What does formidable mean?” Tomas asked.  
“It means impressive and difficult to deal with,” Ben explained.  
“Like Becky,” Tomas whispered to John. Ben said nothing, but silently agreed.  
John read the rest of the paragraph and beamed with pride. Ben smiled. He, too, was proud of John. He had never had any education and yet he learned faster than anyone else Ben had met, even his classmates at Yale.  
“Can I try?” Tomas asked.  
Ben nodded and Tomas took the book from his brother’s hand, in the process, the letter fell out. John picked it up and looked at Ben’s panicked face.  
“Oh that’s mine. If you could just hand it to me,” Ben tried to hide his fear. He had written the letter for Rebekah, not for her brothers. If they read it, they would learn that he not only felt horrible for insulting someone, but even more so for insulting someone he realized he was in love with. He felt stupid for being in love with a girl he barely knew and even stupider for telling her. He was thankful Rebekah could not read, but that did not matter now as her younger brothers had taken possession of the letter.  
“Please, could you give it to me.”  
The two brothers winked at each other.  
“You should practice your reading, Tommy,” John suggested.  
“That’s a good idea. Now I can show Mr. Tallmadge all that he has taught me.” He cleared his throat. Ben reached for the letter, but Tomas jumped back. “Dearest Rebekah-”  
“Dearest? So that is what he meant by personal.”  
Ben tried again to grab the letter, but Tomas passed it off to John. Ben understood their game. They just wanted to mess with him. If he could keep the game up and distract them with his attempts to seize the letter, they would never be able to finish reading it. The brothers continued, barely making it through a single word without having to transfer the letter to the other or pull it away from Ben. John had the letter in hand and decided to skip a few lines.  
“Oy Tommy! It seems Mr. Tallmadge here fancies our sister!” He said mockingly.  
“Alright, that’s enough!” Ben yelled. He had had enough of the two boys mocking him. His words had succeeded in making the boys stop their antics, but it had gone farther than Ben had planned. Tears began to well in Tomas’s eyes.  
“Tomas, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-”  
But his apology was not received. Tomas burst into tears and ran out the door. John’s face puckered into a hateful glare. He followed his brother out of the schoolhouse. Ben cursed himself. Why was it he was always doing something stupid in front of this family?  
\---  
Rebekah was serving a group of men at a table when Tomas ran in bawling. He wrapped his arms around his sister and sobbed into her skirts as he only reached Rebekah’s hips. Rebekah set down the pitcher on the table and rubbed her hand on his back soothingly.  
“Shhh, Tommy, it’s alright,” she said to him softly, her other hand stroking his hair. “Let’s go outside and you can tell me what happened.”  
She had to practically drag him outside. She hoped Mr. Elsley would not notice her sudden absence and dock her pay, although she knew that if he ever threatened to do so, all she had to do was remove her kerchief and lace her stays a little tighter.  
Once outside, she knelt down to his level and asked him what happened. He was still crying and was unable to speak clearly, but Rebekah heard him say “Mr. Tallmadge”. She did not know what he had done, but her anger was already rising. She looked up and saw John running towards them.  
“Jack, what happened? Why is Tommy crying?” She asked.  
“Mr. Tallmadge yelled at us,” he explained.  
“Yelled? What were the two of you doing?”  
“It was just a game!” John was almost in tears, but he knew he had to hide it. “A stupid game at that! He had a book for you and we found a letter in it that he wrote to you and we took it and he got angry!”  
Rebekah was now seething with anger. How dare he yell at her brothers?  
“Did we do anything wrong?” John asked. Even though he wasn’t crying like his brother, Rebekah could tell that the yelling had still shaken him.  
“No, you did nothing wrong. You’re both angels. Now, go take your brother home and I’ll deal with Mr. Tallmadge.”  
“Do you want me to get Silas?”  
“No, I can handle the prick myself.”  
Rebekah hugged Tomas and asked if he was alright if she left. He nodded and went with John. Rebekah charged to the schoolhouse, her fury propelling her. She let herself in with a forceful push on the door and saw Ben looking out the window with an anxious look on his face. He turned when she came in.  
“How dare you!” Rebekah skipped any greeting or pleasantry. If Benjamin was going to deal with his problems by yelling, so would she. “You yelled at my brothers?”  
Ben gathered himself.  
“Yes, I did. They were being rowdy and disrespectful. Your brothers made it clear that raising my voice was the only option. I was under the assumption that they were too old to cry.”  
Rebekah sputtered in disbelief.  
“You’re a real piece of shite, Tallmadge. You’ve seen what my family goes through nearly everyday. You’re the only one who really knows, and yet you still don’t get it. If you yell, it just reminds them of the pathetic sack of shite who leeches off of us and yells and beats us. You’re no better than him.” Rebekah realized that hot, angry tears were beginning to invade her eyes and blur her vision, but she kept going. “Is this why you became a schoolmaster? So you could yell at children and make them cry? If they misbehave again, are you going to beat them? Should I expect to see bruises on their faces along with tears?”  
“Please understand. I was not trying to hurt them. I did not realize how my actions would affect them in this way. I promise, it will not happen again.”  
“Oh you didn’t think? You never think, do you? You spent how many years at Yale and yet you can’t think?”  
“I was just-”  
“And why did you yell at them? Because they took a letter you wrote for me? What was in the letter that would warrant such anger?”  
“They were mocking me.”  
“You felt threatened by two boys who can’t even grow beards yet? Because they mocked you? Are you sure you’re a man, yourself? Because you act like a child.”  
“It was a personal letter that they had no right to read.”  
“Do you still have the letter?”  
“Yes.” Ben admitted hesitantly.  
“Read it. I want to know what was in it that you did not want them to see.”  
Ben took the letter from his pocket and cleared his throat.  
“‘Dearest Rebekah-”  
He had only read two words and she already rolled her eyes. He continued. He thought for a moment about whether he should try to hide the truth and just say something else instead of what was in the letter. He realized that if he truly felt sorry and cared about Rebekah, he had to tell her the truth, even if she could not know he was lying. Although, he was not sure he cared for her now that she was talking to him this way. Very few people had ever yelled such vitriol at him, certainly not a woman.  
“I have wanted to apologize to you for a great length of time, but the words were never able to come to me. As a result of this, I thought that perhaps it would be best to write you an apology where I can express my deepest sorrow and regret in how I acted. When I heard about what transpired that night at the tavern, I worried that I had made you uncomfortable. The last thing I wanted was for you to be uncomfortable around me, as when I am with you, I feel the most comfortable.” The letter sounded idiotic now that he read it. Why had he used the word “uncomfortable” so many times? He continued anyways.  
“I beg that you forgive me. I will admit now that I meant all those things I said that night, although I wish I had been able to say them more eloquently. Whether you forgive me for what I said that night, or for what I said the next morning, I do not care. I only ask that we may at least be friends again. I have put this letter inside this book for you. You may remember that it is the same book I was reading when we met and I promised to let you borrow it. Please accept it as a token of our friendship.”  
Ben looked up at Rebekah sheepishly. Her arms were still crossed and she pursed her lips.  
“That’s all?” She asked. “That’s what you did not want my brothers to see?”  
She admitted to herself that she would not want her brothers to read that letter, but she did not want to admit that Ben was right.  
“I’m sorry. Please, forgive me. For that night, for the next morning, for this afternoon, for everything, please forgive me.”  
She only shook her head and left.

\---

Every time Ben saw Rebekah he cursed himself. For the entire week following the incident at the schoolhouse, Rebekah completely ignored Ben. When he came to the tavern, she would pretend he wasn't there. She would not even serve him. She expected him to complain and for Mr. Elsley to reprimand her, but Ben kept quiet. He knew that telling Mr. Elsley would only add one more thing to Ben’s list of things to apologize to Rebekah for doing. 


	10. Chapter 10

Rebekah got home late as she often did when working at the tavern. Two bowls of cold soup were set on the table. Rebekah was confused. Had someone else missed dinner that night? No one ever left soup for Gideon when he was absent from dinner. Rebekah inspected the bedroom and noticed that Mary was missing. She tried not to worry and instead sipped her dinner. It was still cabbage stew, but this time it had been cooked with the leftover bones Rebekah stole from the tavern. A slight improvement.  
She looked up from the soup when Mary walked in. Mary saw Rebekah and stopped.  
“Where have you been?” Rebekah began to interrogate her sister.  
“Why does it matter to you?”   
Rebekah rolled her eyes at her sister’s attitude.  
“Go outside. I’m not going to risk waking up everyone lecturing you for something stupid you did.”  
“Beck-”  
“Outside.”  
Mary glared at her sister but still obeyed, walking out the door with Rebekah close behind.  
“Why are you home so late?” Rebekah demanded.  
“I was out.”  
“Thank you for the clarification, Mary. This whole time I thought you were inside the house.” Rebekah said sarcastically.  
“You come home late. What right do you have to talk to me like this?”  
“I come home late because I work. I’m not up to anything like you seem to be.”  
“What about that time you brought a drunk man home?”  
“That was different. Now explain why you’re home so late.”  
“You aren’t my mother. You aren’t anyone’s mother, yet you still make everyone else’s business your business and then you get mad at them once you know it.”  
Rebekah had had enough. “Empty your pockets.”  
“What is that supposed to do?”  
“I know what you did, Mary. You know that I’m the only one really helping this family and you’re tired of it so you went out to try to make some money yourself. I saw your face when uncle said I should just be a whore. So who paid you?”  
Mary looked away.  
“You don’t need to know.”  
“Is he married?”  
“No.”  
“Good, because if you get pregnant you’ll have to marry him.”  
“Marry? I’m only 14!”  
“Well if you think you’re old enough to sell your body then you must be old enough to marry.”  
“You’re only mad because you know no man would ever marry you or even sleep with you.”  
“I am not having this discussion with my little sister!”  
“Why not? Everyone knows. Has any man ever looked at you as anything more than a poor girl he could sleep with and leave? Now someone does and you push him away and find any excuse to get mad at him. You say you’re trying to help us out, but the only way you could really do that is by getting married so there’s at least one less mouth to feed.”  
Rebekah sighed, exasperated with her sister. “Go inside and eat your dinner.”  
Mary’s shed her rebelliousness for a moment.  
“Are you going to tell?”  
Rebekah softened. Mary could be a hellish child, but Rebekah could never stay mad at her. “No, I won’t tell anyone, but if you do it again-”  
“I won’t.”  
“Good. Now go, eat your dinner.”  
Mary began to walk inside, but turned back to Rebekah briefly.  
“I know you won’t admit that you care, but it wasn’t Benjamin Tallmadge.”  
Mary was right. Rebekah would never admit it, but she did have some solace in knowing that.


	11. Chapter 11

Though it was only April, it was an unusually hot day. Rebekah had her hair up, but the little wispy hairs at the nape of her neck clung to her skin. The sun overhead beat down on her and her sisters as they stood in the river doing laundry, skirts hiked up and bare feet cooled by the flowing water. Abigail, the second youngest sister, stood on the river bank with her mother, hitting dirtier clothes with a washing bat to loosen the dirt. Mercy, the youngest of them all tried her best to help, but got distracted by a frog.  
“It’s so hot,” Mary complained.  
Her sisters echoed her.  
“At least you get to stand in the water,” Abigail whined.  
“I wish I could just lie down in it,” Anne dreamed.  
“I wish there was wind,” Mary added.  
“I wish it would rain, just for a minute to give us a break for the sun,” Abigail said.  
“I wish you would all stop complaining,” Rebekah said.  
“All you girls do is complain,” Mrs. MacKenzie observed. “Your brothers are out in the fields. Imagine how hot they are. And I bet they aren’t complaining nearly as much as any of you!”

They all doubted this. The boys liked to think that they were stronger than their sisters and could handle anything, but they complained more than all of their sisters combined.  
Two males of the family were not in the field, however. Enoch was of course not in the field, as he was only four. He sat in the grass and watched his sisters, fascinated by the frog Mercy had   
caught.

“Mercy!” Her mother shrieked at seeing the slimy green goblin wriggling in her youngest daughter’s hands. “Let go of that poor creature!”

The other man not in the field was Gideon. His time of being a helpful member of the family was brief, lasting only from his breakfast which consisted of the last of the family’s bacon until the disappointing cabbage soup dinner. He was rarely home. Sometimes he was at the tavern, other times… well, no one knew, but they were all at least thankful that he was not home.

They were nearly finished with the washing. All that was left was the drying. The MacKenzie’s   
had very little of their own laundry to do, as they could not afford any more clothing or sheets than was absolutely necessary. However, with a ten person family, there was still plenty to do, and they did some of their neighbour’s laundry as well to make some money. 

“Becky.” Mary jabbed her sister’s ribs with her elbow.  
“What?”   
Mary thrust her head diagonally upwards. Rebekah followed the gesture. She saw her mother speaking to someone, but she could not tell whom. Anne and Abigail were hanging up the last of the laundry, blocking out Mrs. Mackenzie’s conversation partner. Rebekah craned her neck to get a better view. A quick gust of wind blew the sheet Anne was hanging up, revealing Ben Tallmadge engaged in conversation with Mrs. Mackenzie. She looked at Rebekah, then shook her head at Ben, but he insisted. Rebekah could not figure out what they were saying, only that it had to do with her.   
“I think he wants to talk to you,” Mary guessed.  
“But I don’t want to talk to him.”  
“Girls!” Their mother called. “We’re finished with the laundry. There are more chores inside.”  
Mary trudged out of the river, Rebekah following behind.  
“You can stay out here, Rebekah,” Mrs. Mackenzie added.   
Rebekah stopped and stood alone in the river, watching her sisters leave her. Mary looked back at her and offered an apologetic shrug. She said something to Ben as she walked past him. Ben approached Rebekah.  
“I wanted to speak to you.”  
“I gathered.”  
There was an eternal moment of awkward silence. Ben spoke again.  
“I apologized to your brothers yesterday.”  
“They told me.”  
“I figured that should be my first step.”  
“I’m glad you were able to come to that conclusion.”  
More silence. Rebekah began to think about what Mary had said to her about pushing Ben away. With a few exceptions, he had been genuinely kind to her. He was tutoring her brothers for free and she wouldn’t even let him apologize for what he had done.   
“Are you going to stay in the river?” He asked her.  
“It feels nice.”  
“I can imagine.”  
“Try it.”  
“Pardon?”  
“Go ahead. Take your shoes off.”  
Reluctantly, Ben did so. If this would make Rebekah forgive him, he would do it. He slipped out of his shoes and stockings and carefully stepped into the water. The rocks in the river were slippery, and he shifted his weight to balance himself with each step.  
“It is refreshing on a day like this one,” he admitted. “I suppose you know why I want to speak to you.”  
Rebekah nodded, avoiding direct eye contact with Ben. Instead, she scanned the horizon, turning her back on him to watch a bird flying over the river.   
“I’m afraid that I have never been one for speaking eloquently, that’s why I wrote the letter. I usually write better than I speak.”   
There was silence, and when Ben was nervous, he tended to fill the silence with ramblings.  
“My father, actually, has a gift with speaking. He’s a preacher, you see, so he has to be good at talking in front of many people. You can tell I did not inherit that skill.”  
More silence.  
“One time, he actually-”  
“Did you mean everything in the letter?” Rebekah interjected, now facing Ben.  
He nodded.  
“Good.”  
“Good?” Ben was delighted by her reply. Good meant she forgave him and even felt the same way about him as he felt about her. Good was a simple word, but it was sunshine on cloudy days and clouds on sunny days.  
“Yes,” Rebekah continued. “It would have been a bit sad for you if you had earned my hatred for a letter that wasn’t genuine.”  
Hatred? Hatred was not good. Hatred was a scorching sun and storm clouds.   
“How is it that we feel more like strangers now than before we met?”  
Rebekah looked at the stones in the river, smooth and worn down by the flowing water.  
“Maybe because before we met, you never made my brothers cry because you weren’t man enough to speak to me in person.”  
“Please forgive me for that. I am truly sorry. I never meant to hurt your brothers.”  
“Do you know why I let you stay in the tavern that night?”  
“Your brothers may have mentioned it.”  
“Then you know that I worry about men being like my uncle. You passed, but then you acted more like my uncle when you were sober.”  
“I was a fool to have yelled at your brothers, but they have forgiven me. I did not wrong you, yet you are the only one who won’t forgive me.”  
“You’re right, you didn’t wrong me. So why do you keep seeking my forgiveness?”  
“Because you have been cold to me ever since it happened. I want to go back to the way things were.”  
“I would like that as well,” she finally admitted. “You do not need my forgiveness, but I forgive you.”   
Rebekah was surprised by how much better she felt after forgiving Ben. She thought she would appear weak. People usually do not seek forgiveness because it is the moral thing to do. They do it so that they no longer feel they owe something to another person. Rebekah realized that was why she had not forgiven Ben earlier. She finally had something that someone else did not have. She had the power and control, but it meant nothing.  
Ben’s smile turned to a squeamish grimace.   
“What’s wrong?” Rebekah asked, concerned at his reaction to her forgiveness. “Was it something I said?”  
“No, no, a fish just swam in between my feet and it felt quite strange.”  
Rebekah laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.  
“You’re scared of a fish?”  
“I’m not scared! It touched me and it felt strange! Now there’s another one!”  
“You’re being absurd.”  
“Fine. Then I’ll just get out of the river.”  
He began to leave, but his foot slipped on a rock and he began to fall backwards. Rebekah lurched forward and caught him before he hit the water.   
“Are you alright?” She asked him, giggling, as she helped him back up.  
“Yes, yes I’m fine.” His face was beet red. “Why are you laughing at me?”  
“I was here all day with my sisters, who are all younger than you I might add, and none of us slipped. You’re in the water for a few minutes and get frightened by a fish and then fall.”  
Ben supposed there was some comedic value to it all and broke into a grin. He was at the very least glad that Rebekah was not mad at him anymore and was smiling once again. Her eyes glittered with laughter. The sun shining on her hair created a radiant, almost angelic glow of warm light around her. He had never so desperately wanted to kiss someone as he did at that moment, but he held off. He chose to cherish the moment with Rebekah so close to him and with a halo surrounding her face.   
“What?” Rebekah said with a slight laugh. Ben’s face was strange to her. She had never seen someone look at her that way.   
“Nothing, it’s just a lovely day, that’s all.”  
She laughed. “It isn’t lovely after you’ve been outside for half of it.” She saw a minnow swim past. “We should get out of the river before you fall again.”   
But he had already fallen; in love with her, that is.


	12. Chapter 12

With the return of their socks and shoes, Rebekah and Ben walked up the hill that overlooked the river.   
“Now that we are friends, there is something else I'd like to speak to you about,” he said.  
Rebekah raised an eyebrow.   
“There's nothing to worry about. It's just about your brothers. They’re ready to attend school normally. They no longer need my tutoring.”  
“Really? It’s only been a few months.”  
“Yes, but they’re quite bright, John especially. He is smarter than any of my students, smarter than even some of my classmates from Yale.”  
Rebekah swelled with pride. But then she started to think of how complicated this was going to be. She had been able to hide her brothers’ education by distracting her uncle in the tavern, but now they would be at school during the day. If Gideon was actually home, he would notice they were missing. And if he was not home, there would be no one to help Silas with the fields and planting season was soon. Once they saved up enough money to buy seeds, her brothers would be occupied until the harvest. And with her working at the tavern, Rebekah could not take over all of her brothers’ work.   
Ben detected less elation in Rebekah than he had expected.  
“Is something wrong?”  
“No, no, it’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”  
“Are you sure? I thought you would be happy to hear about your brother’s progress but instead you seem stressed and distracted.”  
“I told you. Nothing is wrong.”  
She looked up at the sky and noticed rain clouds coming in.  
“It’s going to rain,” she noted. “I should get home before it starts.”  
“I’ll walk with you.”  
Rebekah considered insisting that she was fine to walk by herself, but she decided she was done pushing Ben away. Besides, it was not a long walk and it was on his way home. She would be inconveniencing him by not letting him walk her home.  
Just as the Mackenzie house appeared in the distance, a drizzle began. With a pounding of thunder, the drizzle quickly evolved into a downpour. Ben removed his coat without any hesitation and wrapped it around Rebekah. She clutched it tightly about herself, grabbed Ben’s hand, and began racing to her house. Ben had no choice but to follow.   
When they reached the front door, they stopped to catch their breath.  
“I should be going now,” Ben said when he had enough breath.  
“You can't go home in this,” Rebekah insisted. “Come inside and get dry. You'll get sick out in this rain.”  
“I don't want to intrude-”  
“You're not intruding. Please come in. I would feel horrible knowing you were running home in a storm.”  
“Alright, I'll come in.”  
Rebekah escorted him in and hung the coat up to dry on a hook on the mantle. Ben looked around the room full of people. By the fire, Mrs. Mackenzie and her other daughters patched up some clothes. Tomas and John were sitting on the ground tracing letters with a stick. Silas was whittling a piece of wood. Enoch sat in Mary’s lap and amused himself by tugging the fabric that his sister was trying to sew. Rebekah relieved Mary and took Enoch.   
“Mr. Tallmadge!” Mrs. Mackenzie greeted. “How nice to see you. Come stand by the fire and dry yourself! You’ll catch a cold like that!”  
“Thank you, Mrs. Mackenzie. And please, call me Benjamin.”  
Ben watched John and Tomas tracing their letters.  
“I can let you both borrow a tablet to write on, if you’d like.” He offered.  
“That’s very kind of you,” Rebekah commended, “but we couldn’t possibly-”  
“No, no I insist. I admire all of the work that your brothers put in. It seems to me they deserve an education. They care more than most anyone else I’ve taught or even studied with when I was a student. They can borrow some books, as well.”  
“Can we really?” Tomas asked, his voice filled with excitement. “We don’t even have a Bible to read because we can’t afford one.”  
“Yeah,” Mercy chimed in, “and Mommy says we wouldn’t have one even if we could afford one, ‘cause ours is different.”  
Abigail shushed her sister. Ben raised an eyebrow.  
“What do you mean ‘different?” He asked.  
“She’s just confused,” Rebekah explained quickly. “She overheard a rude remark once about our lack of money and she didn’t understand it. Mercy, if you don’t understand something, there’s no need to talk about it. And Tomas, we don’t talk about money. It isn’t polite.”  
Ben was still confused, but did not press the issue.  
“Ben was just telling me some good news,” Rebekah announced, changing the subject.   
Everyone looked at Ben expectantly. Rebekah’s sisters exchanged a knowing look.  
“Oh, yes, Tomas and John can start going to school. You’ve both been working so hard that you are at the same level as my other students who have been reading for years.”  
John and Tomas smiled. Ben thought that the rest of the family did not look as excited as he had expected. Rebekah noticed this as well.  
“I thought you would all be a little more proud. This is what Father always wanted.”  
Everyone seemed to snap out of their strange disappointment and into pride.  
“Yes, of course! We’re very proud!” Mrs. Mackenzie said, hugging her sons.  
“We just thought the news was going to be something else,” Abigail admitted.  
“Abby!” Mary gave her a look.   
Ben was once again confused but didn’t question it. He noticed that Silas still looked unimpressed. Rebekah also saw Silas’ face and she looked slightly worried again, like she had when Ben first told her.  
“Are you staying for dinner?” Mercy asked.  
“Oh, I couldn’t-”  
“If it’s still raining like this at dinner time, you’re staying,” Mrs. Mackenzie decided. “Speaking of which, I need to get started on that. Rebekah, care to help me?”   
“Yes, of course, Mother.” She placed Enoch on the floor and joined her mother at the table. Enoch stared at Ben with big, green eyes. He held his hands up as though he was reaching for something.  
“He wants you to pick him up,” Rebekah explained.  
“Oh.”  
“So you should pick him up,” Mary added.  
“Oh. Right.”  
He awkwardly bent down and picked up Enoch, holding the child away from him as though he might bite. Rebekah laughed.  
“He’s two. He isn’t going to hurt you.”  
Ben still looked like he was holding a mysterious substance, so Rebekah went to help him.  
“Like this,” she said, moving his arms so that he held Enoch closer to him and guiding his hands into a better position. Though he appreciated the guidance, Ben considered how this position might look to another person, especially to Silas, who whittled a little more forcefully as he watched the two. Rebekah’s hands were on Ben’s, helping him to hold a child, the three of them all connected like a picturesque family portrait. Rebekah looked over at her brother, distanced herself from Ben, and returned to helping her mother.  
Silas glared at Ben, still leaning against the wall and whittling.  
“You ever farmed before?” He asked, casually but with a dash of accusation.  
“I helped my father take care of our horse and I helped my mother with her garden as a child…”  
“But you’ve never farmed? Risen at dawn and broken your back until dusk?”  
“I… no…”  
Rebekah watched them, judging if she needed to intervene.   
“It’s very time consuming.”  
“I can imagine.”  
“So there isn’t much time for other things.”  
“Silas-” Rebekah interrupted.  
“Like school.”  
“Silas-”  
“Look, I’m proud of them and all, but it’s impractical. What are they going to do next? Go to college? With what money? I know there’s a lot of us Mackenzies, but we need all the help we have. They aren’t going to school.”  
Ben was silent. Tomas and John looked up at their big brother, betrayed. He was supposed to protect and support them, not shut them down. John just sat there, staring at the ground. Tomas’s eyes welled up with tears and he ran from the house and into the rain.  
“Tommy!” Rebekah called after him. “Do you see what you’ve done, Silas?”  
“They needed to know before they got too excited over something that will never happen.”  
“You’re a horrible brother, Silas.”  
Rebekah left the house to go find Tomas.   
“Look, Benjamin,” Silas began, “We appreciate all that you’ve done, really. But you don’t get it. We have to stay alive somehow, and that’s by farming. I wish they could make a better life for themselves, but that just isn’t how the world works.”  
“Why not?” Ben asked. “The only person stopping them is you.”  
“I’m just trying to protect them. There’s no use in them getting their hopes up only to have them dashed by society. The world likes to keep people like us where we are. Maybe for you it’s possible to make something of yourself, but not for us.”  
“You’re no different than me.”  
Silas rolled his eyes. “You just don’t get it.”


	13. Chapter 13

It was a familiar sight. Tomas crying and Rebekah kneeling down, wiping his tears away. Tomas had always been a sensitive child and was often the most affected by Gideon’s constant abuse. He couldn’t help himself from crying anytime someone raised their voice or even seemed remotely angry at him. When he was younger, Gideon had once beaten him for crying and told him to “be a man”. Ever since then, he was afraid of crying, afraid of something he couldn’t control, so he would hide anytime he felt tears coming. Rebekah found him in the barn, soaked from the rain and petting the family cow.  
“Shh, it’s alright to cry,” Rebekah told him.  
“I’m not crying.”  
Rebekah laughed a little. “Your face is all wet.”  
“Yeah from the rain.”  
“There’s nothing wrong with crying. Everyone gets angry and upset sometimes. Some people let that out by crying, others bottle it up and release it on other people and hurt them. But people like you who cry don’t hurt others, so it’s very kind of you to cry.”  
“But Uncle-”  
“He isn’t here and I’m not going to let him hurt you.”  
“But you always say that.”  
“Yes, I do, and I keep that promise. Don’t I?”  
Tomas nodded.  
“So I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. If I have to do more work so that you and John can go to school, I will.”  
“But I don’t want you to have to do more work.”  
“You know how I said that some people deal with their emotions by crying and others by bottling it up? Well, I bottle it up too, but I don’t release it on other people by hurting them. I do it by helping them. Because I don’t like to be sad or angry, so I help myself by making sure other people aren’t sad or angry. And that’s why I want to do more work, because I know it will help you.”  
Tomas sniffled and hugged his sister. Rebekah rubbed his back soothingly. Ben looked on from the doorway of the barn. Rebekah noticed him.  
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to cause anything. I thought that I was delivering good news.”  
“It’s not your fault,” Rebekah told him. “I thought so as well.” She looked at Tomas. “We’re all still very proud of you and John. I know that Silas seemed upset, but he is very impressed with you two. And Mr. Tallmadge is even prouder of you.”  
Ben nodded. “It’s true. I’ve never met anyone as bright as the two of you.”  
“Really?” Tomas asked.  
“Really.”  
“Are you all better?” Rebekah asked her brother. He nodded in response. “Why don’t you go back to the house. I’m sure dinner is nearly ready.”   
Tomas hugged his sister again and left the barn.  
“Thank you for everything that you’ve done for my brothers,” Rebekah said to Ben. “I’m sorry that it all seems like it’s for nothing.”   
“I just wish there was something I could do.”  
“I’m going to do everything I can for them to go to school. I’ll take over as much of their chores as I can.”  
“I will gladly help in anyway that I can. You can’t put the entire burden on yourself.”  
“You’re doing enough just by being here and teaching them. No one else in town gives any of us a chance. They see our tattered clothes and my uncle’s drunkenness and they decide that we aren’t worth anything. I’m tough enough to handle it, but the others… they internalize it. They think that what everyone else thinks about them is true and that they aren’t worth anything. But when you began teaching John and Tomas, they changed. Their entire selves brightened up and they were happy. It just isn’t fair that two boys as intelligent as they are cannot do anything with it. All they wanted was to make their family proud, and we are.”  
“They did not seem as impressed as I thought they would be.”  
“Oh, no, they were impressed, they were just expecting different news from you.”  
“What were they expecting?”  
Rebekah avoided eye contact.  
“They all thought… well since we both came into the house together… and I was wearing your coat...they thought that we were courting.”  
“Oh.”  
“I know. I don’t know what gave them that idea.” Rebekah fidgeted with her hands nervously. She saw the surprise in Ben’s face and knew he thought the idea ridiculous. Even if he had written that letter, he surely could not still feel the same way, especially with how Rebekah had treated him. She didn’t want Ben to know she had feelings for him that he did not have for her.  
“I suppose it’s a bit funny because… well, actually-”  
“I know. It’s dumb.” Rebekah began to laugh, trying to deny anything she felt for Ben. “I mean, us? Courting? I just stopped hating you today.”  
Ben laughed too, though he didn’t mean it. He had been so hopeful until that moment.   
“We should go back,” Rebekah decided. “I’m sure dinner is nearly finished.”  
“I have a feeling that your brother does not exactly want me around.”’  
“Oh just ignore him. He’ll glare at you all night, but he’s harmless.”  
“I really don’t want to intrude. I should be going.”  
“Please stay.” Rebekah tried to hide her disappointment.   
“Alright.”  
They stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither looking at the other.  
“Ben? Could I ask a favor of you?”  
Ben looked at her with hope.  
“Of course.”  
“Could you teach me how to read and write?”  
Ben smiled. “I would be more than happy to.”  
Rebekah’s face broke into delight and she flung her arms around Ben. He was taken by surprise at first, but he hugged her back.  
They were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. They turned and saw Silas in the doorway of the barn.  
“We were beginning to worry about the two of you,” he said, eyeing Ben suspiciously.   
“Silas! Ben is going to teach me how to read and write!” Rebekah announced excitedly.  
“What for?”  
“If I can read and write then I can send letters to people.”  
“Like who?”  
“Well, I’m sure Ben isn’t always going to be in Wethersfield. And what if Tomas or John go somewhere else?”  
“It’s pointless enough teaching two poor farm boys how to read and write. But a girl? Seems like a joke.”  
“Why should it be any different if a girl can read and write?”   
“What’ll your husband think of that?”  
“Some might like a girl who is as smart as they are,” Ben added defensively.   
Silas blew him off. “Look Rebekah, if you want to waste your time, I don’t care, just as long as the rest of us don’t suffer from it.”  
Rebekah rolled her eyes at him. “Just ignore him,” she told Ben. “Can you come by the tavern tomorrow?”  
Ben nodded.  
“Great. I’ll be there. It gets slow there a bit before dinner time so I’ll have time then.”  
“I should be going now, but I will see you tomorrow.”  
“You aren’t staying for dinner?”  
Ben looked over at Silas, who crossed his arms over his chest and stared down Ben.  
“No. I really should be going.” He said and left quickly.  
Rebekah was confused by his sudden departure and eyed her brother suspiciously.  
“Why do you always have to do that?”  
“Do what?” Silas asked, feigning naivety.   
“Anytime someone shows any interest in me, you have to scare them off.”  
“I’m just trying to help you.”  
“By making sure I become an old maid and never talk to anyone?”  
“Exactly.” He said with a joking smile.  
“You’re the worst.” She told him and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the hiatus! I've been working on this for awhile and it was starting to get a bit dry so i started another fic which you can read. I promise I will still be continuing this story but I'm starting to think that my original plan was a bit ambitious so we'll see how things go


End file.
